Preambrals 3

081303
I can't believe I'm not here to stay,
I can't believe that I'm going away.
It dawned on me just yesterday,
That this is the end of summer.

Long, lost and wishful
Short, sweet and painful
Hot, cold, and fulfilling,
The last summer at home.

Away to my future I go,
Away to more things to know.
It choked me like new snow,
That I know so little now.

I've seen no friends but foes,
Who push me down and shout.
This was the summer of evelasting doubt.
I know not what I'll know tomorrow.

Tomorrow the bell rings
Tomorrow the kids weep
Tomorrow I'll see
What I've been missing for these months.

Tomorrow dawns a new life.

000002
Good night sweet soul,
it's time for bed and crying,
for your unknown future to be bright.
Is it brighter tonight than last week,
or does it reflect little in your eyes?
Have you considered that manufactured,
window cleaner,
to make your eyes,
sparkle with undeneyed goals,
or is that what tears are for?
This hole in your stomach,
cut by life's crutial teath?
They can take a bite of your soul,
It's not like you can't buy another,
one that's whole.
Isn't the candle light funny,
the way it dances in the night?
It doesn't seem right,
that it can be so pretty.
And distructive,
burning bright through the night.
Is its relection in your eyes all,
you hope for?
You were there once,
full of glee and happy energy.
When your soul was whole,
and your eyes spoke of Alaskan summer nights.
And your eyes swallowed up Alaskan summer nights.

0780603
And someday I'll see the place I use to call home
and the people I use to know
and I'll wonder why I left
only to be reminded in jest

This is a place for mothers
This is a place for fathers
This is a place for children
This is not the place for me.

I left this town so long ago
But only in my mind
I had ideas
that made me leave this all behind.

What if's and told you so's,
Brought me back to brag.
I made it through this sad and cold life.
With only a whole in my heart.

I greet the wraiths of my friends
and hold them at arms length
they told me to stay with them
but I ran away, only to see them some other day.

The only thing I have ever missed
I come to see.
The deep blue sky and mountains
Towering over me.

Free birds and wild squirrels
Not trusting of man's hands.
Deer through windows not on bar walls.
And the fresh smell of rain on the surrounding slag.

Nothing's the same for me,
But this place hasn't changed.
I ran away to become me,
But I've remained the same.

052603
I need some comfort, now, for this time came too soon.
my world is no longer what it apeared
I'm sitting, typing with a longing
I was okay, actually quiet austere
watching her pack all her belongings
Until she huged me and kiss my cheek
saying don't worry honey, I'll call you when I'm on my feet.

Giver her a week, maybe a year, but won't she just land right back here?
my mind foolishly hopes for what all children hold near their hearts
But I know this may be forever
when the solid foundation is reduced to parts
She speed into the dark, leaving me here, sharing only the stars and the moon.

052003
I'm falling in love with an idea that's a thousand miles away.
How do I know what's good for me at my age?
My hands hurt from hours of research....
Is it worth it to know what I'm worth.

Searching for my direction in life
I think twice about my heigth.
I'm not as big as the world I live in
Why must I grow?
The understanding, I know.

The idea makes me cry.
That I might never know what I leave behind.
I'll be gone and missing here still.
Maybe someday I'll value this little house on this big hill.
But I'm leaving now.

I've got to get out
I'm drowning inside
I can't swim through the doubt in my mind
I don't want to be another redneck, hippie
and live in these woods
that's not for me.

Searching for my direction in life
I think twice about my heigth.
I'm not as big as the world I live in
Why must I grow?
The understanding, I know.

Get out, leave it all behind
someday you'll come back
You'll look back in time
change the backdrop and let the mind expand
Get out and see our great land.

061603
I don't like it here
it seems so bright.
It seems to sterile
for those fighting to survive.

There's a smells that I dare not guess.
There are sobbing people I wish not to be.
I see things I never wanted to see.
But that seems to be the way things have to be.

I prepare myself to come back,
Never wishing to hear what comes next.
I don't want to die alone,
My soul weeping, facing the unknown.

I should feel warm,
Cause all is well.
But nothing stops these thoughts,
I don't want any lives to stop.